This new Rage better be the weird fake light gun version from Breaking Bad

Say you want this

There’s currently a lot of buzz surrounding Bethesda’s Rage because it sure seems like a new game is going to be announced next Monday. The Smart Money is on a sequel or some narrative that makes use of the same post-apocalyptic setting. I am here to tell you about the Dumb Money, which also doubles as the “Holy Shit, That’d Be An Amazing Callback And It Won’t Make Them Any Money” Money.

Episode 7 of Season 4 of Breaking Bad opened with Jesse playing a version of Rage that never really existed. He stood in his partied-in house and gunned down mutants with a light gun. Jesse was going through some heavy stuff at the time. This meth empire raked in a lot of cash, but it also unleashed a lot of evil into the world. Playing Rage — simulating killing that took place soon after some real-world killing — was more torturous than cathartic.

In all actuality, this scene served two purposes. It put a fake gun in Jesse’s hand to really drive home how he couldn’t find any form of escapism from his demons. Playing the game with a standard controller would not have had the same impact. And, it put Rage in front of a mainstream television-watching audience five weeks before it released — even if it wasn’t all that representative of the game.

It’s time to rewrite history. Release that on-rails version of Rage that currently only exists in the Breaking Bad universe. All major platforms have the means to facilitate that control scheme. PC and Xbox have Kinect, PlayStation has Move, and the Switch has its Joy-Con. That’s before considering all the VR platforms that could easily make this a reality.

There’s a gap in the Rage canon that needs filled in. Bethesda could make this happen. This needs to be priority A1. So, ya know, make it happen.

Alternatively, I’ll settle for a similarly-fake slice of the Rage sequel making a cameo during Better Call Saul.