The larger FromSoftware-verse plays host to many deadly enemies, but few are as nefarious as some of the games’ seemingly humane characters.
Let’s take a look at one of gaming’s most insidious rogues gallery.
The Dung Eater (Elden Ring)
The dung eater is probably the angriest character I’ve ever seen in a game. A regular supervillain would just want to kill everyone and get it over with, but something as simple wouldn’t satisfy this guy. His goals are to populate the entire planet with deformed creatures, to replace the water of the world with sewage, and its air with noxious gas.
Still, I urge that you don’t get me wrong, as this man isn’t above one act of murder or a thousand. He loves to murder and “defile” his victims, which in turn will cause them to come back as monsters. Sounds bad enough already? Well, that’s not even the half of it as this “defilement” seems to involve having the dung eater pulling his victims’ souls out of their butts. Yes, I’m not making this up.
Why is he so pissed off? Because he wants people to pay for the way that they treat the Omen, people who are accursed with both severe bodily deformities and harassment from the “regular” kind of people. I get him to a short extent.
Patches (Every Souls game)
You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover — unless the cover looks too good, as that’s how they get you to pay for a bad story. Still, it’s clear just by looking at any iteration of Patches that the developers wanted to ignite a sense of mistrust in players.
Patches is likely the most treacherous individual in the history of gaming, and yet one that often manages to fool players. What’s magical about Patches, however, is that it’s somehow very hard to hate him.
If you manage to survive any of the deadly ordeals he baits players into, you get to confront Patches, and he’ll always reply with surprising earnestness. It’s almost as if he’s honest in his dishonesty, like the scorpion that the frog tried to carry to the other side of the river before getting them both killed.
Also, sparing Patches will grant you access to a damn good store, so there’s also that.
Knight Lautrec the Creep (Dark Souls)
I believe there’s a video game rule stating that when you release a prisoner, you’ll always get a reward. At best, you stand to create a lifelong friendship. At worst, you’ll get some health-replenishing chicken nuggets. Dark Souls naturally broke that rule.
If you get Lautrec out of his cell, he’ll first begin making creepy comments about your friend, then end up killing her and forcing you to invade his world to get the chance to revive her.
Lautrec is an absolute asshole and helping him only ever brings players trouble – unless you kill him right away for his ring. That sounds evil, but trust me, it’s perfectly fine and awesome.
Poor King Vendrick (Dark Souls 2)
Dark Souls 2‘s supposed climax turns out to be a whimper, but what a glorious whimper it is. After going through an entire castle that gives serious final dungeon vibes, players expect a great showoff against the great King Vendrick, but they find little more than a mindless ghoul.
Vendrick doesn’t even attack players unless they provoke him, which is a serious subversion of expectations in a world where everything seems to have a bone to pick with the player.
Dark Souls 2 fails to reach most of the heights of the original Dark Souls, but this encounter remains one of the most harrowing in the history of gaming.
Afflicted Beggar (Bloodborne)
The Soulsverse is one of the most treacherous in the history of fiction. If someone sounds suspicious in this hellscape, then you should really go with your gut.
Players first meet the Afflicted Beggar when he’s seemingly taking a few bites out of a corpse. That’s weird, but maybe it’s just a misplaced animation, or maybe he’s not responsible for the killing — just for the cannibalism.
He asks the players if they know of any possible shelter. If we invite him to the chapel, he’ll seem happy, but players might notice that the chapel’s other inhabitants will begin to die one by one. Tiny spoilers: the Afflicted Beggar likes to kill people before eating them. He’s a huge beast in disguise, so players are better off either not coming in contact with him or killing him away from innocents.
Preceptor Seluvis (Elden Ring)
There are many deranged characters around these parts, but Preceptor Seluvis easily takes the cake when it comes to creep factor.
He already looks pretty off-putting as is, with his sinister demeanor and creepy mask, but many players might finish the game without grasping the true extent of this man’s depravity.
In true serial killer fashion, this dude has a secret basement where he keeps the bodies of people he’s turned into dolls. Remember that no Elden Ring run is perfect if you don’t get Ranni to kill this guy.
The thing that calls itself Iosefka (Bloodborne)
Iosefka is the most beautiful soul in the world of Bloodborne — for a while. At the start of the game, she kindly assures players that she’ll take care of people who need help. A few hours in, her tone changes and she begins asking players to bring her survivors in a different, more suspicious manner.
Long story short, something bad and final happens to the poor Iosefka we meet at the beginning of the game, and something wicked takes her place. The new Iosefka doesn’t care about helping survivors by keeping them safe, but rather about “helping” them by performing experiences that turn them into alien-like lifeforms.
The “new” Iosefka remains one of the eeriest and most mysterious characters in Souls lore as no one knows exactly what she or it is.
King Allant XII (Demon’s Souls)
If King Vendrick in DS2 surprises players because he’s no longer human, then the final boss from Demon’s Souls shocks because he’s no longer any discernible entity.
Unlike Vendrick, who puts up quite the fight if provoked, our encounter with King Allant is a free battle. This pile of goo perfectly subverts the expectations for final boss encounters in a game hellbent on teaching players that everything is both difficult and out there to kill you. Allant sure does try to harm players, but that’s just the fading Souls DNA still in him doing the talking.
Published: Nov 6, 2023 01:41 pm