It’s Sunday and there’s not a lot of news going on, but we need our pageviews, damn it. What’s a blogger to do when faced with such a quandary? That’s right, son — rumors, the savior of the blogger with a quota! Perhaps, dare I say, the greatest thing mankind has ever achieved.
Since Surfer Girl has retired and that notorious gossip CheapyD has stopped his shameless fantasy news articles, there is a gap in the market for a good rumor-monger. I feel that as a totally legitimate member of the gamings journalisming press, I should get a slice of the action. Now each week I will be providing the hottest rumors, fresh from the industry to your eyes, which I totally verified myself using journalism.
Hit the jump for the latest unconfirmed but unbelievable news. It’s all true! Probably!
– Expect some news concerning VIDEOGAMES soon. I can’t say much more than that, because I don’t want to get sued, but let’s just say that these particular videogames can be played on an electronic device that uses electricity and can be purchased in the world. Hint, hint.
– My sources tell me that Rock Band 3 is going to be announced sometime in the future and that it will definitely be a sequel to Rock Band 2. I’m probably breaking a thousand NDAs to say this, but I can exclusively reveal that the game will involve music that can be played using controllers shaped to look like instruments. There may or may not be singing involved, and it will be available in stores where you go to buy it with money that you have.
– You already know that Nintendo is working on a new Zelda game, don’t you? Of course you do, but what you don’t know is that it is set in a place called Hyrule and will star a boy with a green hat who fights monsters using a sword. Well, now you know, because I just told you.
– While I can’t go into specifics about Metal Gear Solid 5, my sources have practically confirmed that the next game in the Metal Gear Solid series has already secured itself a publisher, one with a name that just might begin with the letter “K” and end with the letter “onami.”
– A videogame based on the Call of Duty: World at War beta is going to be released before the end of the year. It’s called Call of Duty: World at War.
– In other Activision news, multiple sources have hinted that Guitar Hero World Tour has been released and is widely available in stores. I’ll be looking into this to see if the rumor can be confirmed, but right now I wouldn’t like to commit. We will have a verdict one way or another next week. If you see a copy in a store, please take a photo as evidence and send it my way for an in-depth analysis.
– I’m being informed that in 2009, Ubisoft will release a game for the casual market on the Nintendo DS.
– A videogame based on the Labyrinth movie remake is said to be in the works, developed by Gearbox. I don’t have solid details on a publisher yet, but it looks like either Atari or THQ will pick it up. The game hopes to use the official cast from the movie, including Marilyn Manson, who is taking the role David Bowie made famous in the original Jim Henson film. Manson has been hailed as the Bowie of a new generation, so it’s natural for him to be heavily involved in the project.
– So far, details on the Harmonix-developed Beatles game have been thin, but some people can’t understand why it isn’t part of the Rock Band franchise. I can exclusively reveal that the reason for this is because the Beatles title isn’t even a music game.
It’s actually a gritty action-adventure set in an alternate world where John Lennon survives his assassination attempt and reforms The Beatles as an unofficial branch of the UN to track down his killer and thwart the global conspiracy which threatens mankind. The working title for the game is The Beatles: All You Need Is Blood. We’ll have more on this game next week.
– A Tetris RPG is in the works.
– With Call of Duty, Saints Row 2, GTA IV and World of Warcraft all including special zombie elements to their videogames, the “zombie mode” fad has become a big hit. THQ has taken note, and will be including a zombie mode in the next Smackdown vs. Raw.
“Zombie Brawl” will be a Royal Rumble-type match in which you have to survive for as long as possible against a string of zombie opponents. Such undead foes include Mr. Perfect, Crash Holly, Andre the Giant, Owen Hart and Chris Benoit.
– We have cause to believe that the real reason for LittleBigPlanet‘s recall was that Kaz Hirai is Jewish. Obviously, including words from the Qur’an is not something that Kaz wanted to deal with, especially so close to Hanukkah.
– There is strong talk of a Dead Space/Aliens crossover that will see Isaac take on the Xenomorphs while Ripley faces the Necromorphs. That is literally all we know at the moment, but the tagline of “In Dead Space, nobody can hear you scream” has been thrown around.
– In other crossover news, Command & Contra, Second Half-Life and Madden Vs Capcom have all been hinted at by my many sources.
– Peter Molyneux is claiming behind closed doors that he has developed a videogame that is literally alive. He claims that this will be the first game to feature a new form of AI called Actual Intelligence, and that the disc will indeed be self-aware. The game was intended to be for the Xbox 360, but the disc is reported to have said: “There’s no way I’m getting inside that piece of shit.”
– Molyneux is also working on a new action-RPG that, like his bestselling series, will feature the freedom to make your own moral choices and form relationships with a huge cast of characters. This time, however, you will be playing as an iconic Hollywood actor from the 1930s. The working title for this game is Gable.
And that’s it for this week’s Riddled with Rumors. If you have any hot gossip that you think should be shared, become one of my trusted sources and email me at jim @ destructoid.com. It is rumored that we pay $100 for every rumor sent in, but this cannot be verified because it isn’t actually true.
