Lil’ Tommy Turnipseed: Ban war toys and war games, please!

You know what we’ve never run before? A story about some old, out-of-touch activist who claims that “studies show” videogames are bad for children. We’ve never written about people like that before, so let’s write one on this unique fellow, South Carolina whingebag Tom Turnipseed. He wants the Consumer Product Safety Commission to ban certain games and toys. That’s also his real name.

“It’s easier for children to play with war toys than to learn how to read or play the piano,” says Turnipseed, inadvertantly making war toys sound really good. “War toys teach children aggression. Aggression needs an outlet, but aggression can be played out in a non-violent manner with peaceful games.

“Children should know what really happens in a war. People are hurt, maimed and killed. War toys, games, television shows and movies using guns seldom show the real effect of what violence does to people. Studies indicate a direct correlation between exposure to media violence, especially interactive video games, and increased childhood aggression…

“Better alternatives to children enjoying shooting at people and blowing up buildings are games that encourage the use of their minds, skills and physical dexterity in activities promoting the sanctity of life and peace.”

We really do need to end the whole “studies indicate” bullsh*t. Anybody who invests even a little bit of time into actually researching this issue finds that “studies” show arguments for both sides of the debate, because that’s all studies tend to exist for — backing up the opinion of whoever conducts them. Anyway, “violent” games and toys will never be banned, so Tom Turnipseed’s plans are about as ludicrous as his name.