Last week’s top stories, now in handy haiku form

Game news nirvana

This past weekend I was up late and feeling loopy, and some haikus about a Flash game nobody cares about fell out of that state. Struck with inspiration, I thought, “Why can’t all news be digested 17 syllables at a time?” Thus, the video above was conceived.

Here are the stories mentioned, in case you missed them the first time and would like more information than a three-line stanza affords.

• Critic Anita Sarkeesian immortalized as TowerFall alternate archer
• Could this be it? A true Banjo-Kazooie spiritual successor?
• The Shulk amiibo will be at GameStop tomorrow, I hope you pre-ordered it
• Nearly two years later, Molyneux still hasn’t delivered for the Curiosity winner
• Review: The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask 3D
• Review: Evolve
• Square Enix reveals new Dissidia Final Fantasy

There! Are you feeling a little more zen now?