Jack Thompson’s secret Veggie Tales twin discovered!

Ever since Jack Thompson lost his job, I resolved to stop covering the man’s antics until he did something supremely stupid. That said, I could not resist following up on the suspicions that had been aroused yesterday when I was flicking through the TV channels and discovered America’s premier God-friendly anthropomorphic vegetable kids’ show, Veggie Tales.

Upon the discovery of regular character Mr. Nezzer — a sentient Christian zucchini — the penny had suddenly dropped. Game-hating ex-attorney Jack Thompson is either in this show, or has an identical (albeit green) twin that teaches children the importance of sharing, obedience and Bible stories. 

Let’s look at the similarities between JT and Mr. Nezzer — frightening physical likenesses aside, both are concerned with the morality of children, both are devout Christian messengers, and both are vegetables. Mr. Nezzer and Jack Thompson are inseparable twins!

How is this a story? That is the question I know you ask, and I cannot answer that because I don’t know. All I know is that Jack Thompson looks like a sentient Christian zucchini, and I felt the need to share.