If they’re gonna do it, do it right
When NetherRealm announced it was going to put Freddy Krueger in Mortal Kombat, I thought it was a cheap cash in. And, as much as I hate to admit it, I also thought it was the coolest thing ever. I don’t consider myself a huge horror guy, but I do have a certain affection for cheesy movie icons from the ’80s. When the studio continued the tradition in Mortal Kombat X with Jason and Predator (and a cameo from Carl Weathers by way of a costume for Jax) I couldn’t have been happier. The recent announcements of Leatherface and Alien‘s Xenomorph was an absolute delight.
But now NetherRealm has a problem. If it wants to keep MKX going with more Kombat Packs, it’s going to need more guest characters from the horror movie world to toss in there. But, it’s already picked off all the low-hanging fruit, the big obvious names like Krueger, Jason, and the Alien. If NeatherRealm ever decides to do a third Kombat Pack, it’s going to need to get creative with its picks. Fortunately, I have a few suggestions.
Chop Top
Leatherface is cool, but let’s be honest, he was the most obvious choice (which is a slightly veiled way of saying the most boring choice). NetherRealm used up the most recognizable faces in horror and instead of getting creative, it aimed low, called up the second-best, the also-ran. The sad thing is, it was so achingly close to finding a great sideways pick from the same franchise. Chop Top from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 would bring a great mix of carnage and comedy to the tournament.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 isn’t your typical horror movie (it has a much lighter tone than its predecessor), and Chop Top isn’t your typical psychopath. He’s from the same murderous hillbilly family as Leatherface (and is every bit as unhinged as him when you get right down to it), but he has a gentler side. He’s a music lover and hippie cliché who seems just as excited about touring the local radio station as he is about murdering random teenagers. How multidimensional!
Chop Top gets his name from the metal plate in his skull, a souvenir he claims is from a tour in Vietnam. But he’s out of his fucking mind, so I’m not sure how much stock I’d put in that. Occasionally he’ll scratch the plate with a heated coat hanger for, um, I guess “relief” would be the most polite way to put it? Long story short, I feel like he’d have a lot to talk about with Kano.
Let’s be honest, anyone can be scary with a chainsaw. It takes a special kind of creepy to be menacing with a coat hanger. “Lick my plate, you dog dick!”
Ash
There’s no reason to limit ourselves to horror movie bad guys, a guest character could just as easily be a good guy. Or in the case of Ash from The Evil Dead, an okay guy. Or maybe a “he’ll do in a pinch I guess” guy, if we’re being honest. You know what I mean anyway.
Ash is such a ready-made video game character I’m a little shocked we haven’t seen more games from him (there are a few, but I’d avoid them if I were you). He’s got a chainsaw arm, a shotgun, and a penchant for inappropriate quips, he’s like 70 percent of the way there already. And hey, if you’re gonna put a dude with a gun in the game you might as well get your full value out of it. Give him a Stryker-inspired secondary costume, so all the police brutality fans that had to go without in MKX can finally feel validated.
Putting Ash in the game would also close the spiritual loop on a film project that never-was. Years ago, Warner Bros. and New Line Cinema kicked around the idea of making a Freddy Vs Jason Vs Ash film that would have seen the three icons go chainsaw to machete to weird-knife-fingers-glove (which I feel is a little low in the deadly-weapon pecking order to hang with this crowd). The project was eventually killed, but it apparently got far enough along to get a script treatment (which you can read for yourself, care of Bloody Disgusting). A comic of the story was even produced, but that’s some weak tea compared to what could have been. Getting Ash in MKX would be the closest thing to seeing that fight happen. Well, at least the Ash on Jason part (which sounds like a horrifying slash-fic when I put it like that).
Pyramid Head
Who says we have to pull from horror movies? Horror games have some pretty damn big icons of their own. If NetherRealm had the sheer balls to include Kratos as a console exclusive character in MK9, why not bring Pyramid Head to MKX? Show a little class and make him available on every platform (well, other than PC of course, NetherRealm already buried that version of the game in a shallow grave and covered it with dissolving lye). Besides, it’s not like Konami is doing anything with him now, other than sticking him on the side of pachinko machines.
Pyramid Head is perfect for an MKX conversion. He’s big, he’s angry, he already loves dismembering people with an intimidating, but probably unwieldy, weapon. What’s one more giant shirtless guy in a skirt and a ridiculous headpiece on the roster? (Just kidding Kotal, you know I love you). He could have a Fatality called “helloooo nurse!” where he…
Um, this was a bad idea. Never mind.
The Spooky Girls
This one is more conceptual, a way of sneaking in more than one character. Hey, if they can do it with Triborg (who they should just rename to Quadborg at this point) they can do it for someone else! The horror world is chock-a-block with evil spooky little girls and while I’m pressed to think of one that could carry a fighting game character on her own, their combined powers could properly represent the trope in MKX.
I’m thinking a base spooky girl (long hair, ghostly voice, the usual) with variations based on the twins from The Shining , Samara from The Ring, and everyone’s favorite spider-walking, projectile vomiter, Regan from The Exorcist. The Twins could have projectile special moves based on a duplicate (shout-outs to Noob Saibot), Samara could do her creepy implacable walk and burning hands thing, and Regan could have the most foul fight introduction quotes of any character in the game! Seriously, have you watched The Exorcist recently? Girl has a mouth that would put Jimmy Carr to shame.
Freddy Fazbear
I don’t actually think Freddy Fazbear would make a particularly great Kombatant. I just want to see the internet burn to the ground when they announce him.
These are my picks, but there are plenty of other possibilities. You could get Jack Torrance looking all fashionable with his plaid jacket and handsome fire axe. The, uh, Thing from The Thing could be a crazy monster and a kind of ghetto Shang Tsung with his copycat abilities. Hell, get Norman Bates in the mix swinging around his mummified mother. If you could have your druthers, which horror movie icon would you see in Mortal Kombat X?
Published: Jan 30, 2016 04:00 pm