[Infa-Red voice] All the way up
Ain’t no foolin’ here: You’re about to find out how big and floppy the dongs get. Or how small and cute-as-a-button they get. Dicks of all shapes and sizes, really. The world is your oyster.
PlayStation Plus subscribers are getting two games in April, and one of them is Conan Exiles — an open-world survival Conan game that’s maybe best known for having a dong slider in the character customization screen. There are tales of there being more game after the dong slider, but legend has it no one has ever bothered to find out.
The second game is the Souls-like action RPG The Surge from 2017. In his review, Ray wrote “The Surge is a mix of interesting ideas and hiccups in execution. While there’s no doubt that it will resonate with a specific, hardcore audience, it’s missing just enough to alienate a generalized audience.” Hmmm, maybe you’re that specific, hardcore audience!
If not, welcome the warm embrace of the dong slider. Or, there’s still time to queue up The Witness before March ends. Your call.
Published: Mar 27, 2019 01:20 pm