Fantastic Boyfriends $999 reward has Ogre chest mousepads

Totally worth the money

[Update: The developer has since updated the listing, the mousepad is now in the $125 tier! Fuzzy ogre chest for cheaper is always a good thing.]

I wrote about gay dating sim Fantastic Boyfriends a little while back, and decided to try and rein in my enthusiasm. I tried to keep my excited prose more composed and collected. This time? Fuck it, we’ve got cushioned pec mousepads.

Lifewonders, the developer of Fantastic Boyfriends, has unveiled the tapestries and mousepad you’ll receive if you pledge a whopping $999 to the Indiegogo campaign. For the price of two PlayStation 4s, you could wrest your tired, achy wrist on the pillowy bosoms of Orgus the ogre. The chest stubble can gently massage your arm, a tender warmness shared between both of you that could slowly become something else.

He may be gruff and distant at first, but after long sessions of you rubbing his rippling chest while playing Team Fortress 2, he will learn to love the sensation. As shall you. As shall we all.

Of course, there are many other uses for a soft pec mousepad, such as using it as a small cushion or propping up wonky furniture legs with it. The possibilities are literally endless when you have a hairy, scarred ogre’s chest as a mousepad.

Oh and the tapestries are cool too I guess. Bit less tactile, but still pretty neat. They’ve also shown us a new video of the prologue of the game, showing how it’ll actually play: part dating sim, part JRPG.

Fantastic Boyfriends has roughly 18 days remaining, and is still looking for $12,000 out of $20,000 of its funding. But honestly, the Indiegogo isn’t why we’re here. It’s that mousepad.

Disclosure: I have not backed this project, I simply think hot virtual ogres are cool.