Dimension Tripper Neptune: TOP NEP is gonna give me a headache

Feel the need for speed January 20

When I was younger, I could watch any amount of dazzling visual effects without any problem. Sitting two inches from the screen playing Super Strobe Master, I was fine. In my later years, however, the old eyes just aren’t what they used to be, with games like Dimension Tripper Neptune: TOP NEP really bringing that home.

Yes, the lovable gals from Hyperdimension Neptunia franchise are getting set to take the plunge into yet another classic gaming genre, as Neptune and friends take on the classic “into-the-screen” shmup style popularized by titles such as Sega classic Space Harrier. TOP NEP will see Neptune blasting her way through the fantasy zones of Gameindustri, taking down waves of enemies and mighty familiar bosses.

Neptune won’t be alone on her adventure. Gather enough special coins and she will be briefly joined by one of her faithful goddess companions — offering a little extra firepower to take on the baddies. Weave in and out of obstacles, gather power-ups, and free Gameindustri from its latest bout of tyranny. All well and good, but frankly the above trailer makes my dang head spin.

I personally couldn’t imagine assaulting my eyes with that carnage for more than 30 seconds, let alone an entire game. Even this video is almost enough to make me put on those glasses that I was prescribed three years ago and have never worn. Good luck to ya. The soundtrack is cool though. I’ll just assault my ears instead.

Dimension Tripper Neptune: TOP NEP launches January 20 on PC via Steam.