Contest: We’re giving away 10 copies of Genital Jousting. Also, cocks!

No, really

Every once in a while something comes along that’s so remarkably on-brand for us that it’s hard for us to say no. We long for the opportunity to get our hands on it, and savor every last drop. Genital Jousting, a game where you play as a dick with a butthole, is the best example of this.

In his review, Peter says, “Genital Jousting is crude, for certain, but it showcases how imaginative and creative gaming can truly be. When I was a child, I never thought I’d have the fortune of playing as a flaccid dick in a game, but look where we are.” If that doesn’t get you nice and turgid for this game, nothing will.

Except for this.

Our friends over at Devolver Digital, publisher of Genital Jousting, have gifted us with 10 PC keys of this arousing little title. Attached to the code is a giant plush cock. It makes noises when you squeeze it. Why are you still reading this and not commenting below?

To get your hands (you’ll need both) on the cock, all you have to do is comment below with places to which it might be inappropriate to bring your new stuffed…uh…toy…along. The contest runs today through next Monday, February 19, whereupon ten lucky winners will be pulled off at random from the commenters below.

Some ground rules: Make sure your Disqus email is one you can access before commenting, as that’s how I’ll be contacting winners. Also, you must be at least 18 years of age (as always, but just a friendly reminder) to win. And only residents of the US of A (again, as always) are eligible to win. By entering the contest you are acknowledging that all of the above are true, firm, and up in attention to the laws of the land.

STAND ERECT FOR BONUS DICK JOKE ACTION:

Devolver gets us, and as such is providing a special discount code to you, the beautiful souls of Destructoid. Visit their site and enter promo code ALSOCOCKS to receive 25% off the Genital Jousting plush. So even if you do win a free one, you’ll have another to cuddle at night. Two cocks are better than one, as they say. Bless.