CNN launches game; sadly, it’s not Wolf Blitzer’s Magical Moustache Ride

CNN, Ted Turner’s foray into the acrimonious world of televised dog-wagging, launched its first foray into gaming recently with the release of Presidential Pong, a Flash title destined to be exactly as entertaining as the original Pong; that is, not at all.

While this newly politicized update of the classic adds special abilities for the characters (drawn from the ranks of the Republican and Democratic presidential hopefuls) based on tongue-in-cheek depictions of their campaign strengths, it also loses the innocence that made the original Pong so insanely addictive, and, as the years went on, an electronic counterpart to the heartwarming traditionalism of a Thomas Kinkade painting. I guess the sort of people who don’t giggle after saying ‘caucus’ might think this spin on the formula is clever, but those of us without direct access to Ted Kennedy’s hooch closet will tire of it after a few moments, and only the lingering bitterness of a group of candidates that clearly embody the collapse of the last world superpower will remain etched in your mind.

Am I the only one who misses the wily antics of Ross Perot, or the fat-assed joviality of William Howard Taft?

Ah well, it could be worse. We could be English.