Battletoads has a bike achievement that will drive you hopping mad

Get better friends

The Turbo Tunnel was the end of the road for most Battletoads players. The infamous bike stage — only the third level in the game — was so difficult that most people never progressed past it. It was like running into a brick wall both literally and figuratively.

The Battletoads that launches this week probably won’t have anything so notoriously punitive. Developers generally want players to finish their games nowadays. There’s a bike level though because paying tribute is important. And there’s an achievement tied to it that might ruin some friendships.

Xbox Wire released most of the Battletoads achievements today (save for five secret, probably story-spoiling ones) and “Live and Let Drive” sticks out like a sore thumb. You’ll need everyone to stay alive on bikes for 5 straight minutes in three-player co-op. Jordan’s input on this challenge is that he played the bike level at a show with another journalist and they “died a lot.” However, Jordan did not have the familiarity, memorization, and practice that you and your friends will eventually have. I’m confident you can do it, even if it requires finding more talented friends.

Here are the Battletoads achievements. With some luck, skill, and perseverance, Pimple and Zitz won’t be the only things poppin’.

• Toads in a Hole — Complete Feed the Fantasy. (10G)
• Road Rash — Complete To the Queen. (10G)
• Parks & Recreational Violence — Complete At the Carn-Evil. (10G)
• Enough Toying Around — Complete So That’s How That Works. (10G)
• Should Get the Pants First — Complete Time for Plan B. (30G)
• Came, Sawed, Conquered — Complete Stumped. (15G)
• Logged Out — Complete A Hard Axe to Follow. (15G)
• A Test of Medal — Complete The Trials of Pummel Horse. (15G)
• Jeff of a Sleighsman — Complete Mis-treatied. (30G)
• We Were Provoked — Complete Spacebrawls. (15G)
• Learning the Ropes — Complete We Go High. (15G)
• STREET JUSTICE! — Complete Street Justice! (15G)
• Hiking With Friends — Complete Bigger Than It Looks. (15G)
• Galaxy’s Most Wanted — Complete Most Unwanted. (15G)
• A Mountain Sense of Unease — Complete Reaching the Peak. (15G)
• With Friends Like These… — Complete A Rock and a Hard Place. (20G)
• Rebooting Battletoads — Complete Emergency Stations. (40G)
• Into the Third Dimension — Use your tongue to reach a new plane. (5G)
• B-B-B-BLOCK BREAKER!! — Smash through 50 enemy block attempts. (15G)
• You’re Dead, You Ding-Dongs! — Surrender to your arch-enemies. (20G)
• Season Two When? — Complete the story on any difficulty. (20G)
• Battlemaniacs — Defeat 100 enemies. (20G)
• Special Effects — Use 200 ‘Toad abilities. (20G)
• Mighty Morphing — Finish off 200 enemies with morph attacks. (20G)
• Thoroughly Tested — Destroy 50 enemies in space combat. (20G)
• It Begins… — Get your first collectable. (5G)
• Scratching an Itch — Get all collectables in a level. (10G)
• Making Progress — Get a total of 25 collectables. (15G)
• I’ve Started So I’ll Finish — Get a total of 75 collectables. (30G)
• Did You Use a Walkthrough? — Get every collectable in the game! (60G)
• Three Is the Magic Number — In 3P Co-Op, all three ‘Toads attack the same enemy. (10G)
• Reviving a Classic — Revive another ‘Toad during Co-Op play. (10G)
• Not All Toads Are Equal — Earn a participation award in Co-Op. (10G)
• Jeffortless — In 3P Co-Op, all ‘Toads grind a rail at the same time. (10G)
• Hack-Door Shenanigans — Hack a door in Co-Op. (10G)
• Live and Let Drive — In 3P Co-Op, stay alive on bikes together — for 300 seconds! (20G)
• Can’t Touch This — In Co-Op, complete Time for Plan B without taking a hit. (20G)
• To Me, To You — In Co-Op, build up a 100-Hit combo. (20G)
• Toad Cuddle! — Finish the game on ‘Battletoads’ difficulty. (30G)
• Brawling… With Style! — Earn your first ‘S’ Rank from an encounter. (15G)
• Straight-A Student — Earn 20 ‘A’ Ranks from encounters. (15G)
• Dodgebrawl Champion — Finish a fight without taking damage. (5G)
• Hey, This Is a Rental! — Score 75 near-misses while riding a rented turbo bike. (15G)
• Photobombed — Take an enemy’s photo when it’s in warning distance. (15G)
• Be Tight — Deal with your friends without any restarts. (20G)
• Take This, Axeman! — Find a way to keep a Champion’s weapon stuck. (5G)
• Toad It Off & On Again — Repair your ship without any reboots. (10G)
• The Purge — Escape from a Topian in less than 4 minutes. (20G)
• Mementoads — Prop up the Jercurian tourism industry. (5G)
• Warped Sense of Humor — Find the ‘Warp Wall’ while riding a turbo bike. (10G)
• Dealt a Lucky Hand — Get a flawless victory in Toadshambo. (5G)
• Not Just for the Holidays — Land a streak of 15 hits while destroying a totem. (15G)
• The Dlala Code — Enter the Dlala Code. What could it be…? (5G)
• Blink and You’ll Miss It — Defeat 25 pink eyeballs during Time for Plan B. (10G)
• Hit the Drop — Freefall more than 10 meters while escaping a Topian. (10G)
• Extra Credit — Watch the credits! You know you want to. (5G)

Battletoads Achievements Revealed [Xbox Wire]