The Destructoid community reveals their Mega Man 12 robot masters

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_{[Adzuken gave the Destructoid community the chance to create a list of hypothetical robot masters for the next Mega Man entry, and the results are pretty damn fun. I’m especially enamored with Sandwich Man, due to their willingness to shine a light on an often ignored universal truth. – Kevin]}

Mega Man 11 recently hit the market, but, somehow, we’re still waiting on details for Mega Man 12. Have you even started on it yet, Capcom? Bunch of slackers…

Anyways, I’m not willing to wait around for Capcom to get their act together, so I’ve enlisted the aid of some fellow Destructoid community members to lend a hand and create the cast of Mega Man 12‘s robot masters. The crew here is obviously more talented than any team of professionals you could find out in the workplace, so what I’m saying is: Capcom should be grateful. You’re welcome, Capcom.

So, without further delay, here are Mega Man 12’s totally official robot masters:

SPOON MAN

Designed by: Adzuken

This one’s mine. I don’t need to tell you how great I am. You already know. I created it using Colors 3D on my 3DS. I’m not much of an artist, but I can put pen to paper (or stylus to screen in this case), so I was able to whip something up for the occasion.

This is Spoon Man, because it has always gone over so well when the series references popular music. This robot master attacks Mega Man with dollops of sour cream that fly in wide arcs and create puddles on the ground that Mega Man sticks to. Once his foe is ensnared, Spoon Man starts rapidly ham-boning, clacking out a vicious rhythm with his metal limbs, sending a deadly torrent of musical notes at his foe.

When defeated, Mega Man gains the Sour Cream Dollop attack, which allows him to spurt out a wad of sour cream that can temporarily coat spikes and allows safe passage over top of them. When equipped, Mega Man changes to the color of brown and red in reference to the Soundgarden song from which the robot master’s name is derived.

Spoon Man’s stage is… Do you remember Level Ate from Earthworm Jim 2? The one where you travel across bacon while hamburgers grill in the background? It would be like that, only with more tacos, a food themed gauntlet that makes you hungry while you play.

MIST WOMAN

Designed by: Shoggoth2588

Mega Man 9 broke new ground by having a robot master who was actually female. After eight games filled exclusively with men, we finally got a robot with lady bits. Actually, have you ever given that thought? Why would you create a fleet of utility robots and give all of them the last name “Man?” Is that a way to humanize them? Why not call them names like Robo-Guts and Robot-Cuts? Why gender them at all?

Anyway, Shoggy is awesome and wasn’t afraid to build a bot who runs on estrogen.

Made by Dr. Light to try combating the negative effects of global warming, Mist Woman is capable of cooling areas around her quickly and efficiently, therefore, her level would be the ice level with visibility hazards and slick/slippery platforming challenges. Bringing a fire-based weapon to her level will unlock gears, an extra E-Tank, and other such things. In a more general sense, I’m envisioning her level as being in an urban setting: starting in a neighborhood up to the mid-level mini boss and ending in the upper floors of an office building.

Mist Woman would attack Mega Man in a similar style to Chill Penguin: creating sculptures out of mist and pushing them at Mega Man. She can also use the mist to blind the player, disorienting them and potentially causing touch-damage. A final attack would be an area-of-effect mist that’s cold enough to damage Mega Man on contact.

To defeat Mist Woman, Mega Man would have to use either a fire-based attack or an electric-based attack. Mist being cloud-like, she’s not going to take a lot of damage from concussive attacks like bomb-blasts or scree-clearing attacks. Water and ice-based attacks are also ineffective. Sour Cream dollops sound like a concussive attack and would likely be ineffective, doing some damage but not as much as a buster or charged buster shot. Light and darkness-based attacks wouldn’t work against Mist Woman, with light-based attacks actually reflecting off of her and causing Mega Man damage instead (have you ever tried driving in heavy mist or fog?!).

Defeating Mist Woman will grant Mega Man the Mist Shot. Mist Shot will freeze certain water-based environments and enemies. Mist Shot can also reveal hidden traps in a room (or a Wily Castle).

HYDRO MAN

Designed By: Calvin Gonzalez

Speaking of Mega Man 9, I always thought the lady bot was called “Hydro Woman.” It’s not. It’s actually Splash Woman. In any case, our new friend, Calvin Gonzalez, is laying claim to the hydro name with Hydro Man. He created this water bot using pixel art laid out on graph paper just like developers did back in the olden days. Looks pretty authentic!

I’ve decided to make an 8-bit robot master that has a similarity between Magma Man and Needle Man. This one is called Hydro Man, and since I made this one awhile ago for a contest, I thought this was worth a shot. I call Him Hydro Man. He is part of a series of robots that share the same traits as Needle Man and Magma Man. Specifically designed for Emergency water supply, Hydro Man was built to purify water and help during a water pollution crisis. That is, until Dr. Wily modified him for combat. With two arm cannons, Hydro Man has the ability to shoot pressurized water along with his signature weapon: hydro bomb. The hydro bomb is basically a huge bubble that that splits into two and crawls on the ground. His stage is under a a polluted lake.

SANDWICH MAN

Designed By: Lex

Our pal Lex has sent us this handsome fellow. Apparently, it was designed as a gag, but I think it’s pretty well done. It also demonstrates Dr. Wily’s stance on the whole “is a hot dog a sandwich” conundrum. Unfortunately, Lex didn’t have a description for this guy, so it falls to me to flesh him out, so hopefully I can do him justice.

The self-proclaimed king of condiments, Sandwich Man, is a formidable foe that lurks deep within the rotting remains of an abandoned carnival. When confronted, Sandwich Man launches bouncing tubes of street meat at the blue bomber. While you’re busy dodging the springy sausages, Sandwich Man will coat the floor with mustard before launching into a belly slide across the screen.

Upon defeating Sandwich Man, Mega Man gains the power of the sausage slinger. This duplicates the slippery sandwich’s main artillery, letting you bounce a few meat tubes of your own. When equipped, Mega Man gets a tacky red and yellow paint job.

STALKER MAN

Designed By: Tohsaka

The splendiferous Tohsaka permitted me the use of their creation, Stalker Man. Apparently, this bot was created as an in-joke that I’m not privy to. Because of this, they opted to leave it as-is, without a description. So, once more, I’m going to have to fill in for that. However, since I’m not in on the joke, I’m just going to have to hope I don’t embarrass myself.

“Why haven’t you returned my calls, Mega Man? I’ve left you 14 voicemails in the last hour, and you still haven’t called back? Are you screening my calls? You hate me, don’t you? Call me back. I’ll be your inside source on Wily’s plots. We’re best friends. You just don’t know it yet. Do you hate me? What would you do if I died?”

Stalker Man doesn’t have any concept of privacy or personal space, and unfortunately for Mega Man, he’s the blue bomber’s biggest fan. He skulks around in the bushes in Mega Man’s suburban neighborhood, going through Dr. Lights garbage and taking pictures from the trees around his house. For Mega Man to defeat him, he’ll need to track down his hideout in the alleys of suburbia.

When confronted, Stalker Man utilizes all the moves that he painstakingly copied from watching Mega Man in action. The main challenge comes from Stalker Man’s propensity for getting in close — real close — during the fight, ensuring that Mega Man can never get too far.

Defeating Stalker Man nets you stalker flash, which is a camera flash that stuns enemies, and not what you initially conjured up with your filthy mind.

DEADLINE MAN

Designed By: Dango

Aw, Dango was obviously feeling the pinch of my deadline and drew up this masterpiece. Sorry about the stress, guy, but I’m flexible. In any case, I appreciate the contribution and think Deadline Man is a great concept that will no doubt strike fear into the hearts of procrastinators everywhere.

Okay so, like, this is Deadline Man.

His backstory is that I forgot to save my original drawing and had to make something before the deadline.

He shoots lasers that slow you down, and if he like hits you, then… uh, he just waddles over and backflips over you. Or something.

I’m sorry.

I like to think his stage would include platforms made of endless stacks of paperwork. Sort of like that ISO 9000 stage in Earthworm Jim 2. Listen, I just really like Earthworm Jim 2, okay!?

DOG MAN

Designed by: Gimic300

Here’s a fab entry that wouldn’t look out of place in a Mega Man art book. Dog Man. Brought to us by Gimic300, Dog Man is animal themed, a rarity in the classic titles. I’d like to think that Dog Man has a grudge against Rush. Maybe he even has a secret weakness that is revealed if you summon Rush during the battle with him. Maybe they start sniffing each other’s butts? I don’t know. Gimic300 will give you all the facts, though.

I drew Dog Man. He was the drill sergeant at Doggy Bot Boot Camp but now he’s gone rogue! His stage is the Pupbot Correctional Compound, filled with hydrant hazards, exploding squirrels, and his brainwashed recruits. He fires a bone from his arm cannon, which then either boomerangs back to him, or he chases after it full charge.

MACHO MAN

Designed by: “Macho Man” Randy Savage

Okay, so we were only able to fill in seven spots. That’s fine. I forgive you. I don’t want to fight right now. Not in front of the kids. Don’t worry though because we’ve got a substitute. Filling in for Dr. Wily’s eighth design is none other than the Macho Man himself, Randy Savage!

Oh, yeeeah! I may not be a robot master, but I’m a master of wrestling, yeah! Cause I’m the greatest Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion that ever lived, and I’m ruling from my roost in the greatest stage that ever existed, uh huh! Talking about the squared circle in the galactic center, the ring where destiny is made, yeah!

When you enter the ring, Mega Man, you’d better be ready to meet your destiny because the Macho Man will be there waiting for you, uh huh, yeah! I’ll be waiting to drop the elbow from the top rope of the universe, yeah, and when I do, you’ll be sent back to the scrap heap you crawled from. Remember, Mega Jerk, you’re nothing but a bucket of bolts, and those bolts are about to be strewn all over the mat, oh yeah!

COMING 20XX TO A STORE NEAR YOU

There you have it. The eight baddies you’ll be battling when Capcom finally gets it together and releases Mega Man 12. Come on, Capcom, we’ve done the hard part for you. You’ve got no excuse now!

Thanks to everyone who participated! Your creations are wonderful and so are you! For the rest of you, thanks for reading. Let us know your thoughts. What do you think of the crew? What should their weaknesses be? Did anything get missed?