A movie based on unboxing videos is clearly the death knell of the universe

Quietly weeps

I kind of got unboxing videos back in the day. Honestly, I did. Back in the early days of YouTube and the Internet, we weren’t bombarded by every detail about everything before that thing got into our hands, and so when someone got it into their hands it was cool to see that something taken out of the box for the first time. Their continued success baffles me. Watching someone take something out of a box in this day and age is tantamount to watching someone… take something out of a box. 

But the kids like it and if the kids like then Hollywood likes it and will make a movie about it, and that’s what they’re going to do. The film, called Unboxing, is basically just Goosebumps all over again. Ice Age: The Meltdown writer Jim Hecht put together the screenplay in which a young YouTube star opens her father’s secret box as a stunt on her channel so she can get more viewers, and accidentally releases a bunch of demons all over her small town. There’s no confirmation yet, but evidently, the first half of the film is simply her opening the box and slowly showing us ever side of the cardboard packaging inside. 

Obviously, this isn’t actually a movie about unboxing things, it’s a movie for kids about monsters taking over a town and their attempt to stop it, but clearly the story and title are trying to capitalize on what “the youth” are doing on the interwebs. Maybe we’ll get a delightfully quirky adventure out of it, but my guess is that, much like most unboxing videos, we’ll just sit through a bunch of nothing and gain little.

Paramount Players Acquires ‘Unboxing’ From ‘Ice Age’ Scribe Jim Hecht [Deadline]