Play God in Cat Sorter VR

CATS NEED BUTTHOLES, TOO

Cats are my life, now. I can’t escape them. At this point, why would I even want to? They’re cute and cuddly, and are now allegedly in desperate need of help. For you see, not all cats were created equal. Hell, not are cats were created as actual cats. Some have beaks. Some, tentacles. Others still, horns. And you know what’s worst of all?

Some cats were created without buttholes.

In Cat Sorter VR, you can help right all the wrongs committed against this planet’s cats – and all in virtual reality!

Releasing for HTC Vive on August 29, Cat Sorter VR allows players to pluck defective cats from a celestial conveyor belt to strip them of their imperfections (I should get some sort of reward for resisting a purr-pun there) and give them more traditional cat features, like cute, whiskered noses, normal cat tails, and of course, buttholes.

This is not a drill, friends. This game gives you a bucket of cat buttholes to place on cats that were not initially equipped with buttholes. Here’s the cat butthole bucket:

Here’s a cat, happy that he now has a butthole. Unlike before, where he had no butthole:

What a good kitty! Now he’ll be able to take a dump in my dress shoes that I only wear once every couple of months, so I won’t find it until right before I need to leave the house and wind up sliding my foot into the shit-filled husk I once called my shoe. As cats are wont to do.

Can’t wait until August 29 to get your cat butthole fill? Well you’re in luck, as the game will be demoed at CatCon 2017 on August 12-13. What is CatCon, you ask? Why, it’s only the premiere cat and cat enthusiast convention! Held in Pasadena, CA, show-goers will be able to experience the cat-butthole-surgeon simulator for the first time ever, proving yet again that California really is for buttholes.

Keep your eyes out, and buttholes in, for Cat Sorter VR.