New Golden Axe = Lair? Lack of playable dwarf = FAIL, at any rate

As far as I’m concerned, it’s hard to go wrong with a Golden Axe remake. Just give me a dwarf and a shedload of skeletons to fight and I’m happy. Of course, this is the games industry, and nobody ever does the right thing when it comes to remakes. This “re-imagining” looks like it wants to be Lair, if the first details are anything to go by. No game needs to be that.

First off, you only get to play as some Amazonian bint. That’s right, no barbarian, no elf woman and NO BLOODY DWARF! The dwarf and Ax Battler will make appearances, but only in a supporting role, and that’s not good enough. Playable dwarves or GTFO. That’s a challenge to all games, by the way.

With a name like Golden Axe: Beast Rider, the biggest change should be clear. Instead of the simple gimmick it was in the original games, the ability to climb aboard various mythical monsters is now the biggest focus, which promises a dragon riding bonanza. Considering Drakengard sucked and Lair didn’t do too well, I’d say it’s not wise for games to keep thinking they’re Panzer Dragoon. Thankfully you will be able to engage in up-close and personal combat, but the idea of another dragon riding game makes me balk. 

It’s early days yet and maybe it won’t be too bad. Seriously though … no dwarves, no dice.