Comments of the Week: Praise the goddess, SANTA’S COMING!

This article is over 9 years old and may contain outdated information
Recommended Videos

[It’s a Christmas miracle! -Jordan]

No, not in that way! Well, maybe. I mean, I don’t know what he does to Mrs. Claus in the morning.

Welcome back to Comments of the Week! As you know, this is the community showcase where I compile all of the crazy comments, that’d been said over the week, all in one place! Like the jolly holly man, I know what you kids have been up to, and whether you’ve been naughty or nice. SO BE GOOD, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

Unless you’re in the bedroom. Then be bad. SO BAD.

Anyway, the holiday season is all about spreading good cheer, and nothing says that like lively laughs and frantic faps! As always, comments are placed into three categories:

TRUTH: I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus!

LOL: I didn’t know she was a chubby chaser!

WUT?: Why is daddy jerking off and watching them from the corner?

If you didn’t stop by last week, then check out My Gift to You: last week’s Comments of the Week. Don’t say I never gave you nothing!

If you want to see what it’s like for the elves to pump one of these babies out, then check out the behind the scenes blog about some of the work and thoughts that go into making each edition of Comments of the Week! You might want to make sure you’re hiding behind some curtains, because it’s also totally NSFW!

From Don’t spend too much time underwater in Fallout 4

Dreamweaver: That’s one way to get to Heaven, I suppose.

Dreamweaver: That’s how I feel about amateur porn sites.

Dreamweaver: Why does he want to suffocate the poor raven with smoke?

From MechWarrior Online is aiming for the stars on Steam

Dreamweaver: If the cock says it’s NSFW, then it’s probably NSFW.

From This new Pokemon is a fire and water type

Dreamweaver: I’m looking at my sister hard enough.

From The newest DayZ update is more Game of Thrones than The Walking Dead

Dreamweaver: That’s what all the hookers say about the other guy when they get stuck with me.

From Bungie introduces level boosts for Destiny after it said it wouldn’t

Dreamweaver: They heard “Payday” and everything else was a blur. 

Dreamweaver: Gosh darn it, Doc.

From Fire Emblem’s Corrin coming to Smash Bros.

Dreamweaver: THEY’RE JUST BATTERED ONIONS DEEP-FRIED IN HOT OIL SERVED WITH SAUCE, WHY IS IT THE PRICE OF THE WHOLE DARN MEAL!?

From PlayStation VR comes with a ‘Wii size’ processor box

Dreamweaver: Huh, maybe that would me seem bigger. Let’s try it:

My erect penis is 1/15 Wii tall.

I’ll be waiting by the phone!

From Damn, look at Seymour shred Splatoon tunes on his guitar

Dreamweaver: I look forward to Mike Martin’s pornos and “Painting with Occams” being featured one day as well.

From Study: Half of American adults play video games, 10% call themselves gamers

Dreamweaver: And that was just a SMALL sample size. 0_o

Like my penis.

From Code of Princess studio closes its doors

Dreamweaver: The shooting’s usually the other way around!

From Podtoid 315: Happy Wife, Happy Life

Dreamweaver: You had your chance at the cotillion, you!

Dreamweaver: Back in my day, he would’ve said “please sir, may I have some more?”

From A bunch of DualShock 4 controllers are on sale for Green Monday

Dreamweaver: I prefer White Women Wednesday.

From Biker Mice from Mars game out now

Dreamweaver: She’s gonna jump his banana, if you know what I mean. 😛

From GOTY 2015: Best logo

Dreamweaver: I dare you to find out if that’s actually the acronym. 😛

From Napster is coming to Wii U

Dreamweaver: You know what else gets you arrest? Playing with U Wii.

From The titillating environments of Dead or Alive Xtreme 3

Dreamweaver: Still fapped.

Dreamweaver: If you don’t get it, it’s because you didn’t read last week’s edition. Jerk.

From Car crashes into gamer playing Fallout 4 in his home

Dreamweaver: Well, two wrongs make a right, so seems legit.

From Rocket League revenue nears $50 million

Dreamweaver: Something tells me never to drink anything a Dtoider offers you.

From Coleco announces new cartridge-based console

Dreamweaver: And now it’s coming for us.

From No Friday plans? How about a Hot Date (with a dog)

Dreamweaver: Hot Date with a Dog sounds like my kind of porn!

From Prepare your teeth for radioactive decay, Nuka Cola Quantum is back

Dreamweaver: You MONSTER!

Dreamweaver: What the fudge is a “Truth” doing in the “Wut?” section?

From Space epic Star Citizen hits $100 million in crowdfunding

Dreamweaver: COMPLETELY UNRELATED, but has anyone seen Elsa lately? :3

I’m going to be on Santa’s naughty list, aren’t I?

Dreamweaver: Ass-tro-naughty.

From Free Worms

Dreamweaver: I see he’s already eating them.

Dreamweaver: Wat?

From Mega Man 9 and 10 are on sale on Xbox Live

Dreamweaver: Also include nudity. You can’t have Singapore without nudity.

From Tales of Berseria has a silly name, but it’s still looking great

Dreamweaver: I hear the month of Youwereadopted is lovely.

From Hideo Kojima reportedly forming new studio

Dreamweaver: Well, that’s gonna keep me up at night.

From Undertale wins GameFAQs’ ‘Best. Game. Ever.’ poll

Dreamweaver: It brought literal tears to my eye. 8^8

From Street Fighter V’s beta is live, full game will have Steam support at launch

Dreamweaver: WHAT IS HE HIDING!?

And that’s it for this edition! Now, be a good kid and leave out some milk and cookies for me for when I break into your homes to steal your… I mean, for when I “sneak” in to leave all the lovely presents under the tree! Also, Santa’s choosing to wear all black this year, and he’s going to go through the back window, so also be a dear and turn off the security system. Don’t forget to feed the dog sleeping pills and jam a knife into your mother’s gun cabinet while you’re at it!


Destructoid is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more about our Affiliate Policy
Author