What would it be like if Nintendo ran a theme park?

I’m like, ‘Yo – that’s fifty dollars for a ten-year old game.’

Nintendo is a company whose name is synonymous with videogames (just point at any console and ask my granny what it’s called). It’s produced some of the most beloved and iconic characters of the last century, and is still going strong after over 30 years in the game industry.

With all the hubbub lately about Nintendo’s uncharacteristic forays into mobile apps, letting third parties use its characters, and NFC figures, as I was watching old episodes of Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin’? I heard the phrase “Nintendo amusement park,” and I was off and running. 

Here’s how it could go down:

• Twelve rides are built and all of them are really popular. Four are torn down for no particular reason. 
• Several parks are built, all of them to open on the same day with the same rides. Instead, they open on widely varying days, with varying rides. Nintendo blames you for this and you actually feel guilty.
• After the parks have been open several years, Nintendo builds a “new” amusement park. The tickets for the old and the new parks look exactly alike, except for a small circle in the upper right corner. If you have an old ticket, you are not allowed on certain rides. They would not tell you which rides you weren’t allowed on until you were already in line.
• The guy scalping tickets in the parking lot charges you more than Nintendo charges at the gate and you feel like you got a great deal.
• As the years go by, no new rides are built. Every few years they get painted and renamed. Everyone talks about how great things was before the ride was changed, as they’re waiting in line to get on for the third time.

Wow! I hope Nintendo gets started on it soon. I’d love to see Miyamoto at the head of a parade of trumpeting Marios. Let me know what you guys think!