Major game studios ask that you just lower your standards from now on (Fauxclusive)

Throw any expectations out the window

Following reports from video game QA testers that the industry hasn’t learned from the errors of the past, publishers and developers around the world today asked gamers to just lower their standards from here on out.

Instead of trying to meet the challenges of modern game development, major game development studios said that they’re just going to aim for “good enough” from now on and call it a day.

“Do you know how hard it is to make a really good game?” asked Ken Willford of Ride to Hell: Retribution developer Eutechnyx. “No, we’re seriously asking you. Do you know? Because we have no fucking clue.”

Marion Sarza of Activision says it’s difficult for gamers to picture the unavoidable obstacles faced by development studios today, like mandatory two-year development cycles and financial penalties for missing a release date chosen arbitrarily by a studio executive with no real experience in the game creation process.

“That’s why it’s so important you all cut us a little slack and don’t expect so much of us,” Sarza explained. “Gamers will just need to learn how to be content with a game that’s a 5; however we do still expect game reviewers to make it rain with all those 9s and 10s.”

Gamers rebuffed the suggestion, instead proposing game makers pay more attention to what their customers want. Those we spoke with say they are listening to consumers, but they just can’t understand what they’re saying.

“Our fans keep using words that we’ve never heard before, like ‘complete game’ or ‘bug-free experience,’” explained Dennis Packey of Bethesda Softworks. “Seriously, I’ve asked around the office and nobody knows what those words mean. I mean are they French or Chinese or some kind of African click-language?”

Experts agree that while gamers may resist lowering their standards at first, they’ll eventually give in because of course they will.