7-year-old writes a pretty damn good review

[As reviews editor, I’m constantly on the watch for talented people who might put me out of a job so that I might find ways to ruin them before they get the chance. Rylan is definitely of that sort — a lad of only seven whose review of THQ’s Ratatouille puts an entire industry of self-aggrandizing editors like yours truly on the hot seat. Check out Rylan’s first venture into the dangerous realm of gaming journalism. — Linde]

My editor’s 7-year old nephew helped me write a review for the Ratatouille game — thanks, THQ, for sending me kids games every month. I don’t know what I would do without a box full of Nickelodeon games to use as a footrest. I’m not even going to put my own review up; his outshines mine, mostly because he gave the game a “10.” And he’s awesome.

Ratatouille review by Rylan, age 7.

Well, it was fun. And sometimes it’s easy, and sometimes it’s hard.

It was easy when you had to row and swipe and hit baby chicks with a spoon.

Hit the jump for Rylan’s full review.

It was hard during “The Slide of Your Life,” that’s what it’s called. Well, you have to try to avoid the open spaces so you don’t fall. Or else you’re off course and you’d have to start all over and your life would poof off.

My favorite game was this one called “Vegetable Vault.” You have to jump on vegetables. Then there’s just an open sky because you’re just in a dream. Then, if you fall off, you lose a life.

My least favorite game was the ones that you had to hide under the box. There’s, like, crabs and chickens and cats and dogs.

But at the dog one, you don’t hide under the box. You’ve got to shake the Wii remote as fast as you can and then you slide.

There’s also the chef that gets you. If it’s on my last life, he would do, like, stuff to me. Like he’d make me have no more lives.

But, then, more lives would come.

My favorite character is Rammy, the gray mouse. He does some fun stuff. He paddles, whacks baby chicks and avoids traps.

My least favorite character is the evil chef that tries to get me.

The game looked cool. When you go to the levels, there’s these words at the top like when Rammy’s at home it would say “Home Stink Home” because they live in the sewer. And if you’re in the kitchen, it would say “Deserted Kitchen.”

If you were on the “The Slide of Your Life,” it would say “The Slide of Your Life.”

When you’re at a level it would show you like pictures of the movie, except it’s in a video game.

Some of the levels will be easy for kids, and some of the levels will be hard for the kids. But if your parents are around, they can help, or if you have friends around who can play the game, they can help you.